I Should Be More Worried About Year Two Of Bo Wallace, But I Am Not

Written by Gray Hardison on .

As Bo Wallace continues to recover from shoulder surgery, a surgery upon which the hopes of Ole Miss returning to the Compass Bowl or slightly better rest, I fell into a deep think about Wallace and his second season as starting quarterback.  Mostly, I attribute this deep think to it being May, my TV shows are wrapping up, and I am a crazy person who is worried about something I can't control that is three and a half months away.

In his first year as starter, Wallace exceeded the staggeringly low expectations I set, which were me hoping for slightly better than Randall Mackey under Houston Nutt.  And, at times, he showed tremendous promise.  He also made more than enough decisions that would have made Hugh Freeze toss his visor, if he were a visor-thrower instead of a "hecknabbitBowhadyadoing...ah, shit" kind of guy.

When the clock ran out against Pittsburgh in the Compass Bowl, Wallace ended the season with 17 interceptions to go with his 22 touchdowns.  The last Ole Miss quarterback to throw that many passes to the other team was Jevan Snead, who hit 20 in 2009.

So, given that Wallace entered Snead's stratosphere AND is coming off a significant shoulder surgery, shouldn't I, as well as all Ole Miss fans, be significantly nervous about Wallace in 2013?  After all, when Snead was considering going pro, I could not have been more delighted because the thought of watching him play another season was physically painful and mentally unsettling.  And when he announced he was not coming back to school, I shared many a happy phone conversation with friends.

Yet, despite their similarities in poor decision-making, I feel pretty good about Wallace in year two.  To me, he's got a few things working for him that Snead did not.

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The Last Meeting Of Houston Nutt And Mike The Tiger

Written by Gray Hardison on .

Somewhat inspired by this interview and this video concerning Mike the Tiger, which you should read and watch.  My favorite part about Mike the Tiger will always be that if he doesn't want to get in his transport cage on Saturdays, he doesn't go to the game because he's a grown-ass tiger surrounded by caretakers who are not.

But in a close second, him terrifying small children.  Anyway, on to the meeting, as seen from both perspectives.

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What All Can Fit In The New SportsCenter Set

Written by Gray Hardison on .

ESPN released a computery and stuff video of what their new SportsCenter set will look like in their new 193,000-square-foot building (built with our cable dollars!) that will open sometime in 2014 unless the Mayans were all like jk, 2013 is REAL last year.  As you can see from the video, it's pretty big, with lots of screens and bells and whistles.

To get an idea of how big it really is, I created some scenarios of what all can fit in the set to help you better get your mind around the spaciousness.

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Kangs On Kangs

Written by Gray Hardison on .

While reading through the articles of links so handily posted on Twitter so I don't have to make the effort to go to sites and can just type in "Twitter", I read this brief post on Jackie Sherrill and his leaving of Pittsburgh for Texas A&M in 1982.  It includes a newspaper clipping of an article written about Sherrill considering the Texas A&M job, as well as a quick summary of Sherrill's time at Pitt and first few years at A&M.

I don't know why, maybe because there are 108 days until college football starts and things are just a tad slow and the mind starts to wander in times like these, but I had a vision of a Jackie Sherill-asaurus.  One part Pitt, one part Texas A&M, one part Mississippi State, and one part NCAA lawsuit.

It would be aggressive, resourceful, not afraid to sweep the leg or hit you with a folding chair while your back was turned, and always have a lawyer at hand.  Alas, the parts I needed weren't available and so the Sherrill-asaurus was put on the shelf.

However, there were enough available parts to create a highly conceptual artistic series, which I shall call Kangs on Kangs.  Jackie Sherrill of one job, combined with Jackie Sherrill of another job (my apologies to Washington State, I gave up looking for pictures of Sherrill there).

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The Rolling Chamber Of Sadness

Written by Gray Hardison on .

For those of you who don't know, I live in Austin, Texas.  As far as places to live go, it's a pretty good one. 

Entertainment, food, weather, minimal theft and incompetence on the part of the city government.  These are all pillars that make it a better choice than many others out there.

But, being in Texas, you are surrounded by love of the state (FACT ACCORDING TO TEXANS: No one outside of Texas loves the place they're from at all, nope, not one bit) and mainly University of Texas fans, though there are a decent number of Texas A&M people and an even smaller number of the other Texas schools.  Since I've been here, I've only seen a smattering of cars with flair dedicated to schools outside the state of Texas.

So when I see a car that claims support for non-Texas schools, I always take notice.  And especially so today when, on the way to work this morning, I got behind a mid-to-late 90's Toyota Previa minivan with a Colorado and a Tulane sticker on the back window.

I referred to it as a "rolling chamber of sadness" because Colorado, Tulane, and a Toyota minivan that is at least 15 years old.  And to make sure you get the same sense of OH WOW I felt, I've attempted to recreate the scene here.

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Remembering The 2013 Kentucky Derby Through A Horde Of Houston Nutts

Written by Gray Hardison on .

The 100 and something somethingth running of the Kentucky Derby took place on Saturday, and I failed to mention here because I was distracted by the Westboro Baptist Church picketing Ole Miss news, which was distracting me from real actual work that I was supposed to be doing.  As you can see, I'm dealing with a lot of distraction here. 

Plus, there's Twitter and clicking on every link I see there.  And I don't really care for horse racing.  So, now you should have a feel for just how taxing my days are.

Anyway, to pay tribute to the Kentucky Derby, while offering it an idea which would improve the current format, it's the Kentucky Derby with tiny Houston Nutt's playing the roles of jockey and horse.

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Westboro Baptist Church Set To Put On Its Best Picketing Sundress

Written by Gray Hardison on .

The Westboro Baptist Church, of picketing everything fame, has decided that Ole Miss deserves a picketing for something related to a football idol and the movie "The Blind Side".  It's unclear exactly why they're targeting Ole Miss because the person who updates the schedule on their website writes as though they've been trapped in the purple reading comprehension group since the first grade (only 12 more stars until orange!).

Per their official schedule:

"Another idol of Doomed USA is Ole Miss, your football idol, featured in movie, “The Blind Side.”

So, as I understand it, Ole Miss is another idol, but THE football idol of Doomed USA (sounds like a scary place!).  ABOUT TIME WE WERE NUMBER ONE IN SOMETHING. 

However, to Westboro's credit, they are correct in that Ole Miss was featured in "The Blind Side" in the form of an Ed Orgeron recruiting pitch and Tim McGraw and Sandra Bullock occasionally saying "Ole Miss."  And maybe Kathy Bates said it too.  I can't remember because seriously that movie was awful.

Anyway, even though lacking clarity for their reason, Westboro will be at Ole Miss going through their routine of yelling and holding their terrible signs.  And because I don't want to see picket signs that don't make any sense - WOULDN'T THAT BE EMBARRASSING - I've put together a list of some Ole Miss football idols that might make a more understandable angry sign.

Well, assuming they mean football is an idol at Ole Miss, which culminated in the making of "The Blind Side", which is the most devil-worshiping of all the devil-worshipping football movies out there.  Again, I'm not totally clear on their focus because I don't speak purple group reading comprehension.

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SEC Network Calls For Heavy Downpours Of Sweet Cash

Written by Gray Hardison on .

Earlier today, the SEC Network was officially made official in Atlanta, as Mike Slive and important ESPN people made the announcement in front of a host of media and 30+ coaches, who all had the same look on their faces like I have when a meeting lasts longer than 90 seconds.  Slive revealed details about live events, most importantly three football games on Saturday, meaning the end of CSS/FSN/CletusTV games, and other programming things, but refused to answer any questions concerning how much money all parties will make off the network.

Whatever the number is, it will be obscenely high, like lighting golden cigars with bills of denominations middle class folks don't even know about high (just kidding, there is no middle class! POLITICS HURR DURR).  But for real, poor people definitely won't know the denominations.

To give you an idea of the kind of money we're talking about, let's take a look at what a few SEC campuses will look like in 10 years.

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Nick Saban's Serenity Now

Written by Gray Hardison on .

Yesterday, the first round of point spreads for some of college football's first weekend games were released.  Most notably, Alabama opened as a 22-point favorite over Virginia Tech in the Chick-fil-A Kickoff/Classic/Gala/Contest in Atlanta.

Nick Saban, hater of all things that speak highly of Alabama, spent the afternoon fuming over the news because he was hoping for a few more weeks of rest before beginning the battle of constantly reminding everyone that his team isn't as good as everyone says it is.  To make himself feel better, he ordered a legion of managers to find a printing press, any printing press, and throw it in the Black Warrior River because that's the way it was done in simpler times when the press could be controlled.

When the managers reported they found a printing press, but it was too heavy to move, Saban had them thrown in the river and made them swim to the other side and back as many times as they said the word "can't".  While he enjoyed this exercise, it didn't totally improve his mood.

No, watching underlings swim forced laps in a public waterway wasn't the answer to his serenity, but he knew what would.  It had helped him many times to unwind after particularly stressful weeks, and on this day would give him a chance to figure out how to bend this point spread news in a way that would motivate his team to take Virginia Tech apart piece by piece.

Ah, yes, he knew just what he needed.  It was time to get out of Tuscaloosa for the afternoon and on to the open road.

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Trooper Taylor Vigil Ends After 144 Days

Written by Gray Hardison on .

After 144 days, Trooper Taylor is back in the world of coaching.  Ignored by pretty much every college football head coach with staff openings, Trooper has finally settled in to a position at Auburn High School.

Not really sure what "help" defines, but when Auburn High School has an infusion of players from Louisiana next fall, then we'll have a pretty good idea of what "help" means.  And to top it off, Trooper will also be doing speaking engagements.

So, rotary clubs and church luncheons, that's one less speaker your program director has to book for next year, as long as there are no rules, or at least relaxed rules, concerning towel-waving indoors.

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