Phil Fulmer's Next Career

Written by Gray Hardison on .

Last week, I mentioned that whenever a position of any sort becomes available in college football, Phil Fulmer immediately lets the world know that he would gladly step into that position.  I don't know if it's because he loves college football that much, has no hobbies, or misses the thrill of operating in the gray area.

So far, nothing has worked out for Fulmer, as no one seems to want his services.  And that's a shame because the mention of his name or appearance of his face drives up Alabama fan irritation by at least 65%, which is fun for everyone.  But, what if he had been hired for the positions he has sought.  It would have looked a little something like this:

fulmerarkansas

fulmerarkansas2
Arkansas Head Coach

fulmersalesman
Stock Photography Insurance Salesman

hospitalmime
Children's Hospital Mime

neighborhoodwatch
Head of the Neighborhood Watch

committeemember
Unbiased NCAA Football Selection Committee Member
(just kidding, he's totally biased, but for the right price can be unbiased for you)

district12ambassador
Ambassador to District 12 in The Hunger Games

subpoenaserver
Server of Subpoenas in the State of Alabama